Help - how can I get over this...
shyness.
I think what I want to say is that I am sorry that I didn't let anyone know in advance what I was doing.
I have this problem that I don't dare to tell people when I am doing something because I am afraid of it. Am not sure what I am exactly afraid of? I think it is that lack of self-confidence being able to face non-direct criticism.
How can one overcome something like that? How can I dare to tell people well in advance that I am doing something, so that they actually see that I am active - but as well that I have the chance to knit a wider net of contacts and get my work seen - meet more people? I always tend to keep things secret and only invite about 2 or 3 friends... I know that i should feel secure enough with the mentoring group to invite everyone well in advance to experiments or exhibitions... but somehow I don't seem to think that I deserve that because it my exploration or work not good enough.
Can anyone give me a tip?
Biggi
I think what I want to say is that I am sorry that I didn't let anyone know in advance what I was doing.
I have this problem that I don't dare to tell people when I am doing something because I am afraid of it. Am not sure what I am exactly afraid of? I think it is that lack of self-confidence being able to face non-direct criticism.
How can one overcome something like that? How can I dare to tell people well in advance that I am doing something, so that they actually see that I am active - but as well that I have the chance to knit a wider net of contacts and get my work seen - meet more people? I always tend to keep things secret and only invite about 2 or 3 friends... I know that i should feel secure enough with the mentoring group to invite everyone well in advance to experiments or exhibitions... but somehow I don't seem to think that I deserve that because it my exploration or work not good enough.
Can anyone give me a tip?
Biggi
posted by Biggi at 6:26 pm
6 Comments:
maybe try not to think about it too much? take a risk, if you think it will be valuable for people to come, invite them.
perhaps you need to address failure and what you think this is. Sometimes its good for us to do something risky (as Tom suggests) dangerous and to 'fail' whatever that means! You will probably discover that after 'failing' you are completely fine and life goes on as normal except that this time you are a little less worried about it all going wrong next time.
I find extreme sports useful for this and used to skateboard when I was younger, we had a philosphy which I apply to many things, the idea was that if you went for a trick (like dropping in a half pipe ... big ramp) and were hesitant or half committed you'd probably hurt yourself quite badly, but if you went for it one hundred percent and believed you could make it.. you might hurt yourself but you were alot more likely to make it.
what do you really have to loose by giving this stuff your whole commitment? So we might come along and think its shit and never come and see you again... what have you actually lost?
I agree with Rachel and Tom
hey hey will post that clipping i was talking about xx if you fail - fail again and fail better!
hey bigi, we now have a new word 'trust' trust your instincts, thoughts feelings, ambitions. some people will like your work some will not, others will influence your work whilst others will critcise your work. you are an artist doing what u do best, that's the 2nd exhibtion u have ben involved with since i've known u. trust those near and dear to you. we all wear our hearts on our sleeves when it comes to exhibiting our work.
I always see my work like uncontrolable children, they are my ideas, i can not always make them do what I want without asking for help frpom others and i am always concerned about what people think about it.
Hi Biggi,
I have had a few instances when i have shown my work and for one reason or another it has fucked up or gone wrong. I rate those experiences as some of my most important in shaping my future practice, and I learnt to not be afraid of them. (I still get nervous and scared but ultimatly it shouldn't stop you from doing what you really want to do)
At the weekend I performed Live Sermon at Sensitive Skin. I only performed it twice, and on the second attempt, as I was walking out to 'meet' the audience a wire came loose and the speaker in my mouth switched off. In my head i panicked!! I thought SHIT! Ive fucked it up! They must think i'm an unprepared prat! So I shuffled back to the area of the space which was my dressing room out of sight. I re-inserted the wire and went out for a next attempt. After the show no one new it was not part of the performance, and those that did said "fuck it, it's LIVE art for a reason"
Things are gonna occasionaly go wrong Biggi, but to let that put you off showing your work is to be defeated by yourself. You are not even giving others the chance to criticise your work, but at the same time your not giving anyone the chance to praise your work either!!!
Hey all,
thank you very much for all your supportive comments. Tom, I completely agree with the risk and I do take risks on a different level but I cannot always say if it is valuable for people to come. It will definitely be valuable for myself to see if it was or not relevant for others. And according to that I can improve my work. I think that I have as well the fear of success and therefore avoid taking my own practice seriously when speaking to others... I am not sure if i explain myself properly here, but I hope you know sort of what I mean. I am trying to be as professional as possible when I do work but I have a fear of seeing myself as a proper artist.
Rachel, thank you very much for your very supportive tips. You are right, I have to address failure. The world is not going down, actually it helps me to improve my artistic world. I like your skateboard experience and I see it in the exactly same way. It's just funny that I take my work very seriously and am very well prepared... but then for no-one to see it. I guess because I would like to believe the comments I get out of the exchange with the people who experience my work - just to find out that that might have not been an honest response. I am very happy with criticism - and especially if it has been expressed to me to give me a chance to grow. On my test run the last Saturday I realised that some good friends had some emotional problems with it and we found out that we are emotionally at different places in our lives and this has been quite a painful realization. My friends are very understanding and therefore we try to accept our differences.
Hey Jon, hope you are feeling better. xx. You are very right with the heart on our sleeves and this makes us very vulnerable. My work has now christalised as live art events where people enter a room and are part of an experience. That is why I am depending on people entering my work and exposing themselves to what I ask them to do and what they are doing themselves. There is a very minimal set-up and the participants are giving the work its life. But I had this insecurity before as well when I was "only" showing pictures. Actually I feel more in control now but there is a potential to turn friends into enemies. Sorry, it sounds so horrible now. It's actually a very simple piece.
Hey Harminder, your text made me smile, and I am sure you didn't feel at all like that at that moment. I am glad that it worked out. The fear has never stopped me of showing my work, BUT I would not turn up for the P.V. for example or I wouldn't tell anyone that I am showing something. When people ask me how my work is going at the moment I just say that the experimenting goes alright and that it is going ok, but I would keep it a secret that I have a show and P.V. coming up.
and by the way, I feel very uncomfortable that these blogs appear on Google, when I enter my name. Very scary that everyone has free access and can inform themselves about my struggles.
Lisa, thank you so much for supporting me and reading that article out to me. xx
Big big hug to all of you. :-)
Biggi
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