WHERE IS EVERY ONE ?
especialy steven , miranda, , nina, kahterine , maideline , shabz, evangelia , i know you are busy but keep us posted ,
posted by de-mentored at 6:27 am
posted by de-mentored at 6:27 am
7 Comments:
Are you missing our input in the comments on each blog posting? I thought we had a nice line in chat going!
Apologies for not using the blog very much since our week at Wysing....yes, I have been busy, but that's no excuse I know. I feel like my head is swimming with so much stuff....
Katherine
I don't know how to put a new post up, so it has the orange title...can someone give me some simple instructions please...I am struggling to navigate my way around this thing...
Anyway, having been quiet so far I wanted to come and spill my guts for a few minutes.
Being at Wysing felt like a really important time for me in terms of my own work. I didn't go thinking I would make work, and the video and photographs I now have feel honest, and more 'me' than much work I have done in the past. But more importantly the week, the time there, certain things people said to me have given me a perspective on my practice that I have not realised so clearly before.
One thing is that I am not an artist who is continualy working on something. I do not have pieces of work that I do a little bit on each days for several months, like a painting. I think I make work in short spasms, I say spasms, because bursts seems to purposeful, the work seems to come out when I least expect it though.
Another thing is how I spend my time around those times when these spasms occur. I do feel like I am always trying to busy myself doing work, even though I am not actually doing in a 'making new work' kind of way. Reading books or writing or sticking pictures in old scrapbooks.....I feel better when I am busy, or at least when I feel busy. I feel guilty, or lazy when I don't feel like I am being constructive/ productive. rachel, you said something to me about this on the Saturday evening.....and I find it really difficult to explain now....I will attempt to spill words out though about it...
about feeling guilty...
being busy/productive...busying activities, and when I stop,(mostly this stopping is not a conscious stopping) the work appears, and when I say that I don't mean it does it all by itself, but it is often when there is something there that I respond to. It is quite immediate. But it needs those long periods of guilt on either side of it....they frame it...
...guilt
going to church until I was eighteen and believing until I was 18 because i was scared not to...but still feeling guilty for it.
The way in which I work reflects something more personal, or maybe they overlap.
The other thing is that being here at my parents cannot be a space in which I am able to make work. Not that I can never make work here. But I do not often make work where I live, and I mean in the smae town, not just the same house. When I was living in London i never really made that much work in London. The work i am most excited by is that work which I have made in a completely new environment. there are things to respond to, I can be immediate and not overthink everything. I can't help thinking that maybe it is also easier (not teh right word, but not sure what is) to make work away from anyone I know because then I don't have to deal with justifying it, or feeling guilty for it......
feeling awkward that taking photos of me that happen to be naked are wrong somehow- as a good christina girl it isn't what I should be doing...even though I genuinely believe in the work, it's value for me as an individual.
On monday before I went to work I sat in the park having a cigarette. I had been there for only about a minute, when my godfather, (good friends of my parents, they've been good to me etc etc) walks up the path in front of me. I can see him coming from a way off and realise who it is. My immediate reaction was to get up and scuttle off before he saw me smoking. i had to stop myself...(mainly because he would have recognised me and I would have looked silly..smoking and running off when I thought I might get caught). I feel like doing what I want to do, and just doing it is difficult, because I feel guilty for it, despite the fact that I am in my early twenties and should be old enough to deal with people's disapproval.
Fuck, I really have just spilt my guts.
I'm not going to do my usual and apologise for it though. It needed to come out and this feels like a safe place to do it...also somewhere where it will be heard.
Well, I am going to have to go I am absolutely whacked.
i hope you are all well, with love
katherine.
ps went for a run last night for the first time in months and my body is aching like hell today. I had to go though, all my podgy bits grew whilst at Wysing the food was so good. I am missing the food so much- it was gorgeous!!
Just posted that last one and realised how long it is....I have spme images, but seeing as I odn't know quite what I am doing with teh postings I will come back in teh next couple of days and have a go at doing them.
katherine
every one should sign on with they name ... i think it would be better , also yes i would like to see more in put on what is going on on a weekly base,, photos text , info,, diary , etcetc.. come on ,,
Apologies. As I have been moving around different counties/cities, I haven't been carrying my lap top all thye time. Also staying with people who don't have e mail, and have to rely on cars here to get anywhere...
will stabilise
xx
that was me
Shabby dabby
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