i will wait for you

in the dark room i will wait for you
the candle already diminished
my makeup smeared across my face
by my naive tears
i will pull at my hair
and bite my lips
and the blood will form in the deep
of the scratches
on my forearms

why i will ask
do i keep waiting and waiting
when the milk is already sour

 

he didnt make a sound

he worked my head with his hands 
he didnt make a sound
'deeper' he said
'take it deeper'

when it was over and the sperm ran 
over my chin down 
onto my breasts
i went to kiss him 
but he pulled away

he doesnt like the taste of his own spunk  

late in the night i think of you asleep
and i despise you
feel like ramming a pencil in your eye
through the lid
into the squassy eyeball
and i despise you because i desire you
and i want you to penetrate me
to punish me for these thoughts 
 

as he said

as he said
i am the drama queen
i am
waiting for the right stage to stride
waiting for the right time
and the right place
for the drama to begin
waiting for the right man to take the lead
to hold the leash
to shake the chain
waiting for the right man
to bind me and gag me and slap me and tug at me

i am the drama queen
as he said
and i am waiting for the right tune to sing to
the one that resonates with trust and respect
and i will wear a collar but i will not bend in humiliation
or be treated as a fool

 

i will tell you

i will tell you that i do it because i like to dress to please.
if i am told to wear nothing but a leather coat, stockings and suspenders and boots and gloves i will.
i will paint my mouth scarlet and outline it in black because he tells me.
when he tells me , Look at me! i do it because he has commanded me.
when he tells me, suck my tongue! i do it because he has commanded me.
when he tells me, suck my cock! i do it because he has commanded me.
he forces his gloved hand inside of me then puts his fingers in my mouth and i enjoy it
because he commands it.
it is he who is in control.
i submit to his domination.
i am a sapling tossed this way and that
by the october wind
by the march wind
his breath sweet as he slaps my face.