Frustrated beyond belief
hello all,
I'm really annoyed with myself. when everything seems to be going good my health stuffs up and i get anxious and upset. i feel that I'm missing out on so much that is going on due to yet another infection. so many opportunities pass by the screen of the internet that I think I'll apply for that but alas I think I'm on major burn out at the moment.
Still going into the studio if/when I can and getting some stuff done but always have to deal with the burning agony of not be able to travel to London to hook up with folk as i can not travel to far from a bathroom at the moment.
the wee man has a big toilet problem and it's driving me insane; but hey ho, everything is being documented and what fun could be had from the not so pleasant experience.
as they sing in finding nemo 'just keep swimming', just keep swimming'
I need to post something on the blog and it may not be what some of you wish to read; it just frustrates me that I so want to come out to play but alas until they install toilets on tubes and buses I can't and they haven't fitted me with a catheter yet!!! and why do things take so long on the NHS? What kind of health system do we really have. be sure living as a HIV+ gay man can sometimes make you really feel like a third class citizen. It's not the staffs fault but this country really needs to sort its act out and stop playing god with peoples emotions and mental heath.
pure frustration arrrggghhhhhh!!!!!!!!!
I want to be out with every one having fun but no I have top wait in line with the thousands of disillusioned patients waiting for appointments in a fucked up system. DO I SO WISH I HAD PRIVATE HEALTH INSURANCE... mmm, the private sector wins again whilst the poor suffer. such an equal democratic society we live in.
This brings me to Jacob mentioning about Felix, yes bollotix in art does have an effect... so many artists have used their creativity to vent frustrations of the world situation.
enough of my rant but just needed to get everything of my chest as i am so missing the major interaction.
good luck to those that are doing at the moment and apologise to those whose events i miss; believe me it's not that I want to be missing them.
otherwise big cyber hugs from the world of Jon and i'll be back over the next couple of days with some images and hopefully a more positive frame of mind.
franko, was speaking with Mr Kefford after the performance the other night. my thoughts are with you xx
I'm really annoyed with myself. when everything seems to be going good my health stuffs up and i get anxious and upset. i feel that I'm missing out on so much that is going on due to yet another infection. so many opportunities pass by the screen of the internet that I think I'll apply for that but alas I think I'm on major burn out at the moment.
Still going into the studio if/when I can and getting some stuff done but always have to deal with the burning agony of not be able to travel to London to hook up with folk as i can not travel to far from a bathroom at the moment.
the wee man has a big toilet problem and it's driving me insane; but hey ho, everything is being documented and what fun could be had from the not so pleasant experience.
as they sing in finding nemo 'just keep swimming', just keep swimming'
I need to post something on the blog and it may not be what some of you wish to read; it just frustrates me that I so want to come out to play but alas until they install toilets on tubes and buses I can't and they haven't fitted me with a catheter yet!!! and why do things take so long on the NHS? What kind of health system do we really have. be sure living as a HIV+ gay man can sometimes make you really feel like a third class citizen. It's not the staffs fault but this country really needs to sort its act out and stop playing god with peoples emotions and mental heath.
pure frustration arrrggghhhhhh!!!!!!!!!
I want to be out with every one having fun but no I have top wait in line with the thousands of disillusioned patients waiting for appointments in a fucked up system. DO I SO WISH I HAD PRIVATE HEALTH INSURANCE... mmm, the private sector wins again whilst the poor suffer. such an equal democratic society we live in.
This brings me to Jacob mentioning about Felix, yes bollotix in art does have an effect... so many artists have used their creativity to vent frustrations of the world situation.
enough of my rant but just needed to get everything of my chest as i am so missing the major interaction.
good luck to those that are doing at the moment and apologise to those whose events i miss; believe me it's not that I want to be missing them.
otherwise big cyber hugs from the world of Jon and i'll be back over the next couple of days with some images and hopefully a more positive frame of mind.
franko, was speaking with Mr Kefford after the performance the other night. my thoughts are with you xx
posted by jon at 10:28 pm
6 Comments:
hi jon
I have been to far away to have got to now you any better, but i am still sorry you are feeling shit. Life crap is always relative, thanks for the heads up, some of us have it very easy.
vent it - use it - the frustration - its energy - the wisdom you gain from the shit situation and feeling shit and not in control...put it into your work
hope the bastards sort it for you soon.
hugs
Lisa
will be here to meet up for chats when you're feeling better:) Keep smiling, Ninax
Thanks guys, hopefully see you soon
You don't sound negative, you sound like your clear and focussed.
Why don't we all arange to come up to/near to you for the next get together, would be good to get out of this dirty city and breathe some clean air anyhow. what do you all reackon, how about an early June picnic? xxxx
a june picnic near jon in the contryside sounds great to me
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