Enough moaning....
Right, now I’ve got my grumbly bit out of the way……
Steven’s post got me thinking…the post from the beginning of this month….
About the other, the different, the change that gets us working….and yes, I think often it is, but probably only because it allows us to escape from routine, from the shit that fills everyday life even though we don’t want it to. However, I really disagree that art is a habit. I don’t think the struggle is to get the habit down and under control. I do not want art to be a habit for me. I really dislike the idea of art being a habit- the making, doing, seeing…experiencing….i don’t want it to be a habit. I don’t want it to fit into my life as such. When I make work, I think I am freed up from everything habit. If I think about being at Wysing in particular, being there was not habit, nothing about my days were habit, or even that familiar I don’t think. My clothes were muddy, often damp from having been outside…. This is not habit, this is freedom, escape, out of routine, expectations…. Those things that I see that provoke a response that isn’t just my recognising it and noting in my head, but actually not being so fucking lazy as I normally am and allowing myself the time to be there, to spend time, and to go with it. Habit is brushing my teeth before going to bed, despite not really feeling like it. Habit is getting up to go to work. Habit is putting things back in the same place time and again.
I want my work to remain outside of all this habit stuff. I want it to make me feel alive and excited, and outside of all those things that tie me down to life, tie me down even if I am not exactly happy with it. Of course, I think there are habits within one’s practice, the way we approach things is often similar, or there are traces that run from one piece of work to the next, or unite them all as yours.
If making art is habit, then surely the time is already there….actually I guess that’s what you’re saying. That it’s a habit, but the struggle is making time for it. But isn’t that a contradiction? Habits don’t need time put aside, they’re just there, because we do them without thinking. Art needs time. Time for ideas to bring themselves together….for things to emerge, for conversations, the unexpected things that seem to make sense, have an affinity….
But yes, I think you’re right. Time or money. And why is it that when we have one, we long for the other more? Only to realise when (if) we get it that actually the grass looks greener on the other side again?
posted by de-mentored at 7:26 pm
3 Comments:
Hi Katherine, (I think this is you as well)
Sometimes I think that your self perception is so much different to what others see in you, you say you don't feel that you have much to say, but it is a pleasure to listen to you, your words are considered and your comments and answers thought out and honest, you listen and engage with what people say instead of only hearing your own agenda, i respect this about you, it's something I thought of you when I first met you and it was strengthened at Wysing.
I agree with what you were saying about habit and practice and I dont see habit in your work or your process of making work. I think for me that it wasn't so much habit I had become trapped by before Wysing but more like design and formula. I think instinct is a part of process which often gets lost. I felt very free and alive at Wysing, not thinking about what and why but responding to how it felt... I remember such happiness.
But there is a real joy in doing... in the physical, isn't this how we know we are alive?
You seem to describe being almost trapped in your own head. The valuable thing I remember from college was that i used to work in cycles which involved months of not working and despairing, then intense productivity. It was a print technician who used to always shake me out of the blocks by telling me to 'stop thinking and do'. I still have to tell myself this but it works and not just with practice but all things. Sometimes we can think things through to the point of paralysis. relationships, holidays, jobs, art practice, change....
It sounds like you need to do something which terrifies you.. something physical, something which needs you to do and not think
xxx
I think you're right about design and process... but I also think for me it's trapping myself by telling myself what the work is about...hmm, wrong choice of words I think....something like getting caught up in how the work is held by its text, especially if you write an application or a statement....then the work becomes trapped by that which you've already set out for it, so you've already cut off half the pssibilities if not more.
And I do think there is a real joy in doing...but also in the not so doing? A good friend asked me recently whether I coudl pinpoint certain times in my life when I felt alive....some were work related, others just really simple things- hearing a song that just gets you- you don't knwo why, although I think more than anything it is just being of how it's composed- its actual musical stuff.....I heard razorlight's America on the way home from Scotland in September and had to find out what it was. When I downloaded it i was then sat in my room with headphones on, and I felt lost in it. Those times when it's not a conscious thing, but something grabs you.
I am not sure if I am trapped in my head as such, but more trapped by tiredness, surroundings, and teh lethargy makes me more insular....more trapped in my own head.
However, saying that, I feel much better than I did at the weekend. When I came off teh computer on Sunday night I fe;lt excited.....excited by the blog, the thoughts and ocnversatiosn and dialogues that emerge....
these exchanges are so incredibly precious. The less I think about them consciously and I am involved and engaged, the more I enjoy them , and actually whether I have anything worth saying or not becomes completely irrelevant....
Doing something which terrifies me.....
Comng out on Saturday night feels like a bit of a challenge. If I am honest I am a bit of a hermit- as much as I hate to admit that my parents are right, I'm ok in my own company....or maybe(?) just find social situatiins far easier to avoid. Where do I put myself, what do I say, what do I not say???? So the boat party on Saturday doesn't terrify me, but I look forward to it with a level of anciety or tension.....
this will be my first action of terrofying myself, which I think will actually be fun and enjoyable and I will feel alive for teh first time in a couple of weeks.
With much love, katherine.
P.s rachel, will call or text about Saturday!
I think you're right about design and process... but I also think for me it's trapping myself by telling myself what the work is about...hmm, wrong choice of words I think....something like getting caught up in how the work is held by its text, especially if you write an application or a statement....then the work becomes trapped by that which you've already set out for it, so you've already cut off half the pssibilities if not more.
And I do think there is a real joy in doing...but also in the not so doing? A good friend asked me recently whether I coudl pinpoint certain times in my life when I felt alive....some were work related, others just really simple things- hearing a song that just gets you- you don't knwo why, although I think more than anything it is just being of how it's composed- its actual musical stuff.....I heard razorlight's America on the way home from Scotland in September and had to find out what it was. When I downloaded it i was then sat in my room with headphones on, and I felt lost in it. Those times when it's not a conscious thing, but something grabs you.
I am not sure if I am trapped in my head as such, but more trapped by tiredness, surroundings, and teh lethargy makes me more insular....more trapped in my own head.
However, saying that, I feel much better than I did at the weekend. When I came off teh computer on Sunday night I fe;lt excited.....excited by the blog, the thoughts and ocnversatiosn and dialogues that emerge....
these exchanges are so incredibly precious. The less I think about them consciously and I am involved and engaged, the more I enjoy them , and actually whether I have anything worth saying or not becomes completely irrelevant....
Doing something which terrifies me.....
Comng out on Saturday night feels like a bit of a challenge. If I am honest I am a bit of a hermit- as much as I hate to admit that my parents are right, I'm ok in my own company....or maybe(?) just find social situatiins far easier to avoid. Where do I put myself, what do I say, what do I not say???? So the boat party on Saturday doesn't terrify me, but I look forward to it with a level of anciety or tension.....
this will be my first action of terrofying myself, which I think will actually be fun and enjoyable and I will feel alive for teh first time in a couple of weeks.
With much love, katherine.
P.s rachel, will call or text about Saturday!
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